How To Be A
Good Soccer Mom And Dad
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© Kansas
City Soccer Scene
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We contacted ten coaches
with eight different soccer clubs and asked this simple question: What is a
good soccer Mom or Dad? Surprisingly, the answers were the same whether the
coaches came from came from Gladstone, Raytown or Overland Park, were premier
or recreational. Here are there answers.
First, do not coach your child during the game. Four coaches lamented the
tendency of parents to praise the wrong things and criticize the right things.
One coach complained, “We worked for two weeks on teaching the lads to pass the
ball wide and keep possession. Two minutes into the game parents were yelling,
‘kick the ball out of there.’ No pressure, but still the lads would boom the
ball out of the back. Defeated all that work.”
Another coach described practicing defense and teaching players to shadow and
not “dive in” only to hear parents shouting, “don’t let him dribble like that!”
After hearing dad’s shout, the boy went in for an ill-timed tackle, which the
other player easily evaded.
A Northland coach said, “I just wish they’d be quiet and let me coach. That’s
my job. I don’t go to their job for them. Most never played the game. They do
not know what the boy should do, but [mom and dad] shout ‘pass the ball’, ‘kick
it out’, or ‘stop him’. And, they’re always wrong. Makes you wonder why they
pay me to coach.”
Children will hear your voice above all others. They are trained to obey your
voice. Your very voice is distracting. You shout, your child turns her head
away from the play to listen to you and loses track of the play.
All of the coaches agreed that comments like, “Great play!” are fine. What the
coaches do not want to hear are instructions, directions and coaching from the
sideline. They love it when parents praise and applaud.
Second, do not talk to the center referee or assistant referees. Most parents
seem to feel that all referees are candidates for laser eye surgery. For the
coaches we quizzed, comments about referees during the game often got out of
hand. The parents’ shouts of “Hand Ball”, “Call it both ways,” or “DIDN’T YOU
SEE THAT PUSH,” only antagonize the referee and do not improve the quality of
the calls.
Each coach laughed when asked if he knew of referees that punished teams with
vocal parents. The most common response was, “They’re out there.” A Shawnee
coach said, “I know who to talk to, how to talk, and when to shut up. The
parents on my teams don’t know any of this. [Parents] also don’t know the
rules. [Parents] have no credibility with the referees.”
The coaches were again unanimous. Do not ride the referees. Moan under your
breath and grin and bear it. If you want to shout at referees go to a Wizards’
game.
Third, practice with your child. Practice isn’t limited to a night or two a
week with the team. At your next regular practice take some time from gossiping
with the other parents and watch what the players do. At home have your child
teach the new skills to you. Practice passing, headers and chest traps. Throw
the ball in the air and have your child trap the ball.
Do not stop with skills work. Go to a local school track and run laps. Find a
moderate hill at a park, and run sprints to the top. It will help your child’s
fitness and yours.
Finally, be early for practice and games. Every coach related how players
arriving late disrupted practices. Young players needing to have their shoes
tied. Players of all ages who arrive at games and practice with shin guards and
shoes in hand, but not on their feet. Ten minutes is lost while the shin guards
and shoes are slipped on and shoes tied; something that can easily be done in
the car on the way to the practice or game.
By arriving early players can stretch and be prepared. Players should bring
appropriate shoes, shin guards, a ball, and water to every game and practice.
The ball should be properly inflated.
Last of all, good soccer moms and dads are on time to pick up their sons and
daughters after each practice and game. The coach and the other parents are not
baby sitters.
© Kansas City Soccer
Scene